I had a revelation the other day. Maybe it's just me getting this a bit late, but I thought it might be worth talking about. I mean, come on, life is B.U.S.Y. for everyone, right? Right? I find too many days where I've forgotten something important, forgot where I needed to be, failed at something major and made someone mad. The list goes on and on. Work all day and take care of the kids in the evening. Add in 3 teenage boys who love their sports....It's my messy life and I LOVE it and wouldn't trade it for anything. But.....something is missing.
Did you catch what that something is?
I'll tell you...it's my husband! That person that I love and who gently loves me back. That person I desire to spend time with yet that time is hard to find. That person I want to grow old with and get to know more and more as time goes on. YET...he seems to get the last of my attention in the house. Whatever attention he may get is often in the form of me asking him to do something or pick someone up. Not the calm and loving way I dreamed life would be like! Where did that "dream" go? Well...the back burner for most of the time. Thankfully he is ok with this and he goes with the flow very easily.
But I find myself feeling very convicted. He deserves SO much more. Yes, we do get some weekends alone, but they are often still filled with kids sporting events and running here and there. Both being introverts, we are much happier with a slow and mellow schedule. So, what can I do to provide that more often? How can I cater to his need for time together (and MY need for it also!).
First off, I have to make it a priority. Period! He more than deserves to have me go the extra mile. I need to be thinking of him MORE during the day. PRAYING for him! Keeping in touch with him during the day (as often as I can!). I need to make sure to greet him right when I get home or when he gets home. I need to make sure the little things are done for him. I need to not just TELL him he's a priority but also show him.
Second, I need to pray him up. Constantly. Praying for his protection and favor in his job. I need to be praying for God's blessings to rain down on him all day. I need to be his prayer warrior. I'll be honest, this is harder for me. You read the first part of this, right? Life is so busy, I have a hard time thinking and planning 30 minutes in advance. But, this man IS a priority. I need to find more time to pray for him.
Lastly, I need to watch my tongue. I think as women, we all struggle with loose lips. As my mom told us as kids "loose lips sink ships". Not something I want to see happen, ever. I need to keep my talk positive. Keep my focus on the positive. What would all the husbands out there think if all the wives started speaking kindness and positivity instead of tearing their man down, their life down, their kids down. It would be a very different world for a lot of marriages. I want to build him up. I want to build our home up. I want to build our kids up! All 4, lovely and wonderful children! I want to be a light in their world, not something they avoid. So....back to the praying!
I challenge you, if anyone is reading this, to turn your focus to everything that is positive in your life. Pray over your family. Each person. Pray over your marriage. And keep praying. Our world is full of voices, I want God to be the loudest. I want a positive home environment to be another loud voice. I want to raise kids who go out into the world who are positive & loving & caring.
So, that's what's been on my mind. Just the messy stuff of life. Just being real here.
Is anyone reading? Please leave me a comment so I know I'm not talking to myself! Lol! I do that WAAAAY too often!
Have a blessed week and if I'm not back before Thanksgiving...have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Choices...
Well, first I need to apologize. Probably only to myself...but I haven't written in such a long time. Not that I've forgotten, it's just that we've been so busy.
In July, my husband and I FINALLY got to go on our honeymoon! Yes, finally! Ok, it's not been that long...but a year and a half later, we snuck away and spent a WONDERFUL week in the hot sun and enjoying each others company. We went to Cabo. I have never been out of the country so this was a new experience for me. I'm already a nervous traveler (because I don't have much practice at it!) but going out of the country and away from our children....I was VERY nervous. All went fine. We survived, they survived and we had a WONDERFUL time!!! I came home so refreshed and relaxed. I think we both did! Ok, I'll admit, today I would like to be back there. Although they just had a major storm go through so I'm not sure NOW is the best time to be there! So that was a big part of summer.
We also took all the kids up to visit my family in Idaho. We had a great long weekend there. Hung with the kids, played outside, rode 4-wheelers, took lots of pictures (my favorite!), explored, and also visited Silverwood Amusement Park. Yes, it was FUN!! So fun I almost lost my lunch on one of the rides. Literally. To the kids amusement...mom couldn't go on anymore rides for a while :)
There was other stuff, but those were the highlights. It was a fun summer but went by too fast.
I titled this "Choices" because I wanted to share something about being a blended family (that's really what this is supposed to be, right??). This is a tough one to share because it really shows how competitive I am and how much I want control. Now I know full well that I am NOT the one in control. I daily give that up to God. Well, more like moment after moment I have to give it up. BUT....here is a little glimpse into blended family life. My kids have choices. I don't like it. I struggle with it often. They have their daily choices of course, the same as every kid out there. But they have even more. They have a choice, at a certain age, as to where they want to live. As a mom, that is a horrifying thought. For so many reasons, but just imagine for a minute.... I have worked for 15 years to provide a home that is safe, loving, caring and some place I can teach the kids to grow up into healthy and GOOD adults. I hadn't given this "choice" much thought until my ex moved 5 blocks from us. Until then, he had lived far enough away that the choice wasn't really an option for the kids if they wanted to stay in the same schools. So, ex moves into the area. I won't lie. That was a tough one. I had my safe little area where I knew I wouldn't bump into him at the store, post office, restaurants etc and now all that is now "un-safe". It's taken a while to get use to, but it's been ok. Now, in my competitive heart, I feel like I have compete to keep my kids here. He is "disneyland dad" and I'm the one who has rules and expectations for the kids (because I want them to grow up RESPONSIBLE!). So my house isn't always the most attractive. I also pay for EVERYTHING. So, I can't afford to keep up with the going here and doing this. I dislike this. Then I have to remember....I am a very different person than my ex is. I'm very ok with this. We work hard to provide them everything they need and want. So, where is the fine line? When do I throw my hands up and scream and kick because I CAN'T keep up? I don't. Remember that moment by moment I talked about....this is a HUGE part of that. I can't keep control of everything. THIS issue gets prayed about a lot. A LOT!! I pray that my kids are happy, healthy, well cared for and that they feel loved. They not only have their parents that love them immensely, but they have 2 step parents that love them also. They may not live the perfect life, but they do have it pretty good.
So, if you think about it, please pray for us. This is a daily battle in my heart. I don't want it to be, but it is. Pray for our children. Pray for protection of their hearts, lives and emotions. I can't imagine that life is easy for them (as 3 of the kids are teenagers!!) but I still want it to be GOOD! I love that they are happy going to church and always want to go to youth group. The church change a year ago has been a HUGE blessing to all the kids. God is good. All the time. All the time, HE is good.
That's my update for now. Over the last few months I've had many post worthy thoughts, but this one was fresh so that's what you get :) I need to get back to the kids. I pray you have a very blessed weekend. Whoever is out there reading this.....
In July, my husband and I FINALLY got to go on our honeymoon! Yes, finally! Ok, it's not been that long...but a year and a half later, we snuck away and spent a WONDERFUL week in the hot sun and enjoying each others company. We went to Cabo. I have never been out of the country so this was a new experience for me. I'm already a nervous traveler (because I don't have much practice at it!) but going out of the country and away from our children....I was VERY nervous. All went fine. We survived, they survived and we had a WONDERFUL time!!! I came home so refreshed and relaxed. I think we both did! Ok, I'll admit, today I would like to be back there. Although they just had a major storm go through so I'm not sure NOW is the best time to be there! So that was a big part of summer.
We also took all the kids up to visit my family in Idaho. We had a great long weekend there. Hung with the kids, played outside, rode 4-wheelers, took lots of pictures (my favorite!), explored, and also visited Silverwood Amusement Park. Yes, it was FUN!! So fun I almost lost my lunch on one of the rides. Literally. To the kids amusement...mom couldn't go on anymore rides for a while :)
There was other stuff, but those were the highlights. It was a fun summer but went by too fast.
I titled this "Choices" because I wanted to share something about being a blended family (that's really what this is supposed to be, right??). This is a tough one to share because it really shows how competitive I am and how much I want control. Now I know full well that I am NOT the one in control. I daily give that up to God. Well, more like moment after moment I have to give it up. BUT....here is a little glimpse into blended family life. My kids have choices. I don't like it. I struggle with it often. They have their daily choices of course, the same as every kid out there. But they have even more. They have a choice, at a certain age, as to where they want to live. As a mom, that is a horrifying thought. For so many reasons, but just imagine for a minute.... I have worked for 15 years to provide a home that is safe, loving, caring and some place I can teach the kids to grow up into healthy and GOOD adults. I hadn't given this "choice" much thought until my ex moved 5 blocks from us. Until then, he had lived far enough away that the choice wasn't really an option for the kids if they wanted to stay in the same schools. So, ex moves into the area. I won't lie. That was a tough one. I had my safe little area where I knew I wouldn't bump into him at the store, post office, restaurants etc and now all that is now "un-safe". It's taken a while to get use to, but it's been ok. Now, in my competitive heart, I feel like I have compete to keep my kids here. He is "disneyland dad" and I'm the one who has rules and expectations for the kids (because I want them to grow up RESPONSIBLE!). So my house isn't always the most attractive. I also pay for EVERYTHING. So, I can't afford to keep up with the going here and doing this. I dislike this. Then I have to remember....I am a very different person than my ex is. I'm very ok with this. We work hard to provide them everything they need and want. So, where is the fine line? When do I throw my hands up and scream and kick because I CAN'T keep up? I don't. Remember that moment by moment I talked about....this is a HUGE part of that. I can't keep control of everything. THIS issue gets prayed about a lot. A LOT!! I pray that my kids are happy, healthy, well cared for and that they feel loved. They not only have their parents that love them immensely, but they have 2 step parents that love them also. They may not live the perfect life, but they do have it pretty good.
So, if you think about it, please pray for us. This is a daily battle in my heart. I don't want it to be, but it is. Pray for our children. Pray for protection of their hearts, lives and emotions. I can't imagine that life is easy for them (as 3 of the kids are teenagers!!) but I still want it to be GOOD! I love that they are happy going to church and always want to go to youth group. The church change a year ago has been a HUGE blessing to all the kids. God is good. All the time. All the time, HE is good.
That's my update for now. Over the last few months I've had many post worthy thoughts, but this one was fresh so that's what you get :) I need to get back to the kids. I pray you have a very blessed weekend. Whoever is out there reading this.....
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
When to let go...
I just realized something...my blog seems to be pretty "heavy". Very little fluff...sorry! But since I seem to be writing to myself, I guess I don't need to apologize!! Ha!
Anyhoo.....I don't know if I'm alone in this, but letting go seems to be TOUGH! Tough like trying to chew through leather! It would be so much easier if I was one of those people who "don't care" but that's just not me. I care. Deeply. The part I struggle with is the part that I'm often afraid to speak my opinion. Afraid of what people will think of me, afraid of rejection, afraid I may be wrong! Maybe I will offend someone....or make them mad. See....I've realized I avoid conflict! I'm one of those. I don't like it, I'm not good at it. I don't like when people are upset with me either. Kind of a catch 22, right? Yes....it sure is!!
So what do you do with that? I don't know! I'm _ _ years old and still haven't figured that out! HA!
What I have learned over the years....I GET the opportunity to forgive. I've had lots of practice (as have people with me!) as most people do. It's been hard. Do you have a hard time with that sometimes? Sometimes I just want to wallow in my anger and frustration and carry it around with me. Want to focus on it, talk about it, surround myself with it.....and so on. You get the picture! Then I realize...I am the only one that' suffering over this. Well, maybe my family, but it's my burden and it's hurting me. Not only hurting me, but it's holding me back from everything including God's blessings. HOLD ON....stop that!!! WHY ON EARTH would I want to keep myself from receiving the blessings that God is wanting to give? That is just crazy!
So then the journey of learning to forgive, I mean REALLY forgive began....and continues. It is my job to forgive and trust that God will take care of the other end. HE will be the one dealing with the situation. FREEDOM!!!!! When I relinquish all that....junk....He is always faithful to give in return PEACE and JOY and that FREEDOM!! I do not have to carry all that toxic yuck around with me. I don't have to be so worried about that other person or situation. Guess what?? Those are called IDOLS and they aren't good and they keep me from having my eyes focused on God! I don't want anything coming between us! So....I choose forgiveness. Every Day!
Yes, it's a daily choice. DAILY! But I'll tell you what....it is a choice I will gladly make. Over and over and over! God is SO good!
This was what I was discussing with my step son last night. Love those late night talks and being able to speak into his life. At 17, there are fewer opportunities to speak into their lives yet they are so valuable. And, who doesn't need to work on forgiving...I'm sure we all do. But I'm so thankful to get the opportunity to tell him how much he is loved and cared about. To tell him that he is as important to us as anyone else, that we want the best for him.
I am a blessed mommy! Thankful for every single day I get with these kids. :)
Anyhoo.....I don't know if I'm alone in this, but letting go seems to be TOUGH! Tough like trying to chew through leather! It would be so much easier if I was one of those people who "don't care" but that's just not me. I care. Deeply. The part I struggle with is the part that I'm often afraid to speak my opinion. Afraid of what people will think of me, afraid of rejection, afraid I may be wrong! Maybe I will offend someone....or make them mad. See....I've realized I avoid conflict! I'm one of those. I don't like it, I'm not good at it. I don't like when people are upset with me either. Kind of a catch 22, right? Yes....it sure is!!
So what do you do with that? I don't know! I'm _ _ years old and still haven't figured that out! HA!
What I have learned over the years....I GET the opportunity to forgive. I've had lots of practice (as have people with me!) as most people do. It's been hard. Do you have a hard time with that sometimes? Sometimes I just want to wallow in my anger and frustration and carry it around with me. Want to focus on it, talk about it, surround myself with it.....and so on. You get the picture! Then I realize...I am the only one that' suffering over this. Well, maybe my family, but it's my burden and it's hurting me. Not only hurting me, but it's holding me back from everything including God's blessings. HOLD ON....stop that!!! WHY ON EARTH would I want to keep myself from receiving the blessings that God is wanting to give? That is just crazy!
So then the journey of learning to forgive, I mean REALLY forgive began....and continues. It is my job to forgive and trust that God will take care of the other end. HE will be the one dealing with the situation. FREEDOM!!!!! When I relinquish all that....junk....He is always faithful to give in return PEACE and JOY and that FREEDOM!! I do not have to carry all that toxic yuck around with me. I don't have to be so worried about that other person or situation. Guess what?? Those are called IDOLS and they aren't good and they keep me from having my eyes focused on God! I don't want anything coming between us! So....I choose forgiveness. Every Day!
Yes, it's a daily choice. DAILY! But I'll tell you what....it is a choice I will gladly make. Over and over and over! God is SO good!
This was what I was discussing with my step son last night. Love those late night talks and being able to speak into his life. At 17, there are fewer opportunities to speak into their lives yet they are so valuable. And, who doesn't need to work on forgiving...I'm sure we all do. But I'm so thankful to get the opportunity to tell him how much he is loved and cared about. To tell him that he is as important to us as anyone else, that we want the best for him.
I am a blessed mommy! Thankful for every single day I get with these kids. :)
Monday, April 14, 2014
Heartache
Saying "goodbye" to a loved one is one of the most difficult things in life.
I don't believe it ever gets easier. Only harder. Only more painful.
This week I will say goodbye to one of my cousins. One who was always there in times of great sorrow. One who I enjoyed every moment I spent with her. One who I was so thankful for and thankful that she was in my life.
Cancer. It fits into the "4 letter word" word list. I know it's not 4 letters, but it should be. It's an honorary member of the list. It takes over those we love. It hurts them. It makes them so sick. It kills them. There is NOTHING pretty about it, it is the most ugly and sneaky killer on the planet. I don't think anyone deserves to have it. Unwelcomed guest.
In just a few days, we will gather and honor the life of this beautiful woman. She was only 46. She leaves behind her a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. Their lives changed in an instant. I have no words I can say to them that will make their suffering any less. We all ache knowing she isn't here with us any longer. Thankfully she isn't suffering any longer, but she is SO loved and missed! Our lives will never be the same without her. I will miss her loving and warm smiles & hugs. I will miss the calm she brought to our family. She was one of the most thoughtful people I've ever known. I will hold dear the memories I have with her. Especially the ones when we were together at other times of great heartache. Her kind words and love made those times better. It brought us together in a way I don't have with any other cousins. She was so special.
Carla, your love of life, family, friends and animals....was beautiful. May you rest peacefully and know your family here miss you dearly but will look after each other. We love you so much!
I don't believe it ever gets easier. Only harder. Only more painful.
This week I will say goodbye to one of my cousins. One who was always there in times of great sorrow. One who I enjoyed every moment I spent with her. One who I was so thankful for and thankful that she was in my life.
Cancer. It fits into the "4 letter word" word list. I know it's not 4 letters, but it should be. It's an honorary member of the list. It takes over those we love. It hurts them. It makes them so sick. It kills them. There is NOTHING pretty about it, it is the most ugly and sneaky killer on the planet. I don't think anyone deserves to have it. Unwelcomed guest.
In just a few days, we will gather and honor the life of this beautiful woman. She was only 46. She leaves behind her a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. Their lives changed in an instant. I have no words I can say to them that will make their suffering any less. We all ache knowing she isn't here with us any longer. Thankfully she isn't suffering any longer, but she is SO loved and missed! Our lives will never be the same without her. I will miss her loving and warm smiles & hugs. I will miss the calm she brought to our family. She was one of the most thoughtful people I've ever known. I will hold dear the memories I have with her. Especially the ones when we were together at other times of great heartache. Her kind words and love made those times better. It brought us together in a way I don't have with any other cousins. She was so special.
Carla, your love of life, family, friends and animals....was beautiful. May you rest peacefully and know your family here miss you dearly but will look after each other. We love you so much!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
House Dreams
I bet you're thinking that I'm dreaming of a new house. Right? Well, that WOULD be a good dream. Not for us anytime soon I'm afraid! That's ok, I really don't like moving! HA!
I've heard over the years that if you dream of a house, it's really about YOU. Have you heard that? So, there is a favorite house from when we were growing up. It tends to show up in my dreams often. It took a few times, but I started to think maybe it was more about my life than the house itself. This house was so cool. I loved growing up there. Loved the adventures, loved the memories of being there. But I have found, in my dreams, that house is always in MAJOR construction. It's a mess. It's uncomfortable and not livable. Interesting, right? It's been that way ever since it showed up in my dreams. Sometimes it was quieter than others and sometimes it's such chaos that it's hard to tell that it's the same house.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I had a new dream the other night. It dawned on me last night that I dreamed about my house again. BUT....this time it was BEAUTIFUL, fully restored, beautiful colors, beautiful woodwork all over it. The room I remember the most is my old bedroom. I remember walking into that room and feeling comfort and peace. There was now a beautiful fireplace in the room, hardwood floors and a overstuffed couch just beckoning to be sat in! This is dramatically different than the room before. Before it was cold and drafty and I always wanted to turn and walk away. This time I wanted to sit and enjoy the room. Another thing I remember feeling was that there was an element of mystery. Exciting mystery. I'm not sure what that was about...but it wasn't scary at all, just exciting.
Now, I'm not a person that picks apart dreams or really believes there is much to them. BUT this did get me thinking. Over the last few years, God has been doing some major construction in my life. Restoring the years the locusts have eaten. I understand the "construction" phase for sure. God was doing a number on me. Molding me and making me more of who He meant for me to be. I feel like I've come into my own a bit. Began to figure out who I really am (that's a life long adventure, right?) and who He wants me to be. I'm still a work in progress...but there is a peace to life right now. A God peace on life. Life is chaos. 4 kids and 2 of them in sports, work, family, church, youth group, the list goes on and on. Life isn't peaceful and calm. But on the inside, there IS peace. It's an amazing feeling I've never felt before. God has done an amazing work on not only my heart, but my entire life and the life of my family.
I'm blessed to be in this "house". Blessed that I can share a peaceful house with my family and friends.
Just thought I'd share this. How is your "house"?
I hope you have a wonderful day :)
I've heard over the years that if you dream of a house, it's really about YOU. Have you heard that? So, there is a favorite house from when we were growing up. It tends to show up in my dreams often. It took a few times, but I started to think maybe it was more about my life than the house itself. This house was so cool. I loved growing up there. Loved the adventures, loved the memories of being there. But I have found, in my dreams, that house is always in MAJOR construction. It's a mess. It's uncomfortable and not livable. Interesting, right? It's been that way ever since it showed up in my dreams. Sometimes it was quieter than others and sometimes it's such chaos that it's hard to tell that it's the same house.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I had a new dream the other night. It dawned on me last night that I dreamed about my house again. BUT....this time it was BEAUTIFUL, fully restored, beautiful colors, beautiful woodwork all over it. The room I remember the most is my old bedroom. I remember walking into that room and feeling comfort and peace. There was now a beautiful fireplace in the room, hardwood floors and a overstuffed couch just beckoning to be sat in! This is dramatically different than the room before. Before it was cold and drafty and I always wanted to turn and walk away. This time I wanted to sit and enjoy the room. Another thing I remember feeling was that there was an element of mystery. Exciting mystery. I'm not sure what that was about...but it wasn't scary at all, just exciting.
Now, I'm not a person that picks apart dreams or really believes there is much to them. BUT this did get me thinking. Over the last few years, God has been doing some major construction in my life. Restoring the years the locusts have eaten. I understand the "construction" phase for sure. God was doing a number on me. Molding me and making me more of who He meant for me to be. I feel like I've come into my own a bit. Began to figure out who I really am (that's a life long adventure, right?) and who He wants me to be. I'm still a work in progress...but there is a peace to life right now. A God peace on life. Life is chaos. 4 kids and 2 of them in sports, work, family, church, youth group, the list goes on and on. Life isn't peaceful and calm. But on the inside, there IS peace. It's an amazing feeling I've never felt before. God has done an amazing work on not only my heart, but my entire life and the life of my family.
I'm blessed to be in this "house". Blessed that I can share a peaceful house with my family and friends.
Just thought I'd share this. How is your "house"?
I hope you have a wonderful day :)
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Misinterpreted Introvert
Are there any others out there?
I don't believe I'm alone.
Us introverts....we are usually misunderstood, misinterpreted and sometimes judged. I truly believe in the phrase "It takes all types to make the world go 'round." I'm totally an introvert. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about it. The worst part is when people "diagnose" me as a snob or something like that.
Anyone else out there with this problem? Wait....is it really a problem?
Here is what I think. :)
I find it to be a blessing. I like to be at home. I like to work on my home, like cleaning and organizing! I'm not the grab a hammer and make something kind of girl, but I love to organize and rearrange furniture! In a major way! I like to be home with the family, enjoying time together. We all love to watch movies (that's usually our Friday night family night!). But if I'm in a group of people, I am a wall flower. I can't help it! It's not that I don't have anything to say. I do NOT like to be in front of people (ya know, having the focus on me. Very uncomfortable!). Now, with that said, my job doesn't allow me to always be a wall flower. That's ok. If it's small groups, I'm good. Plus I've worked here long enough, everyone feels like family & friends, not a group of strangers. Oh, here is a kicker. I blush....EASILY. It gets pointed out just about every time it happens. Add that to the not wanting attention...double whammy! :) I'm also terrible with small talk. I don't do it well. I would much rather get to know you (quick) and get onto topics that are about the real you. Who you are, what makes you who you are, what your life has been like. Ya know, those deep topics.
But, as an introvert...I want to make it known...I LOVE to hear about YOU! But like everyone else on the face of the planet..I have things to share too :) Just give me time. I'll get there. I'm not quiet because I'm judgemental or don't think you're worth talking with. YOU ARE! Give me some time to get to know you. Laugh with you. Cry with you. You'll have a friend for life. I just hope you like me for who I am, because it's the only ME I know how to be. I'm not fake. I'm not an actress. I'm me :) I'm the me God is working on. I'm a construction site. I have cones, tape, steel plates (you know, all the construction stuff) but those places are just where HE is working on me. It's a good thing, good construction.
The best part of my life: my husband & kids. Period. I am a very blessed introvert :)
I don't believe I'm alone.
Us introverts....we are usually misunderstood, misinterpreted and sometimes judged. I truly believe in the phrase "It takes all types to make the world go 'round." I'm totally an introvert. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about it. The worst part is when people "diagnose" me as a snob or something like that.
Anyone else out there with this problem? Wait....is it really a problem?
Here is what I think. :)
I find it to be a blessing. I like to be at home. I like to work on my home, like cleaning and organizing! I'm not the grab a hammer and make something kind of girl, but I love to organize and rearrange furniture! In a major way! I like to be home with the family, enjoying time together. We all love to watch movies (that's usually our Friday night family night!). But if I'm in a group of people, I am a wall flower. I can't help it! It's not that I don't have anything to say. I do NOT like to be in front of people (ya know, having the focus on me. Very uncomfortable!). Now, with that said, my job doesn't allow me to always be a wall flower. That's ok. If it's small groups, I'm good. Plus I've worked here long enough, everyone feels like family & friends, not a group of strangers. Oh, here is a kicker. I blush....EASILY. It gets pointed out just about every time it happens. Add that to the not wanting attention...double whammy! :) I'm also terrible with small talk. I don't do it well. I would much rather get to know you (quick) and get onto topics that are about the real you. Who you are, what makes you who you are, what your life has been like. Ya know, those deep topics.
But, as an introvert...I want to make it known...I LOVE to hear about YOU! But like everyone else on the face of the planet..I have things to share too :) Just give me time. I'll get there. I'm not quiet because I'm judgemental or don't think you're worth talking with. YOU ARE! Give me some time to get to know you. Laugh with you. Cry with you. You'll have a friend for life. I just hope you like me for who I am, because it's the only ME I know how to be. I'm not fake. I'm not an actress. I'm me :) I'm the me God is working on. I'm a construction site. I have cones, tape, steel plates (you know, all the construction stuff) but those places are just where HE is working on me. It's a good thing, good construction.
The best part of my life: my husband & kids. Period. I am a very blessed introvert :)
This was taken a few years ago.
More current:
Our wedding 2013
Yes, love them all VERY much :)
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Life, it's just crazy..
Busy, busy, busy....aren't we all in that same (or similar) point in life. Some days I feel like my life isn't my own, but more like it belongs to everyone else.
"Mom, can you sign this?"
"Mom, I need money for this"
"Mom can you wash this?"
"Mom....mom....mom....??" (this is when I'm hiding) :)
I wouldn't change a thing.
Am I alone in this? Yes, it's busy and often exhausting. I have the great privilege of raising some awesome kids and I get to be one to speak into their life. It's a challenge sometimes to speak NICE into their life, but that's a whole other story! But what an honor!
Do you see raising children like that? Is it an honor or is it a burden?
I sometimes look at these kids and wonder what God was thinking when he entrusted them with me. Am I worthy? Am I good enough? Do I give them enough? Am I teaching them good things? How am I damaging them? I have to ask that one...we are all human, right? We hurt each other, even when we don't mean to. If we're honest with ourselves, we would be asking that question about all the relationships in our lives! We can't get better at relationships without asking the tough, honest questions!!
I had someone tell me a few months ago that a lot of my self-judgement is the lies that I'm believing about myself. Believing that things will happen if I don't do ____. Believing I wasn't a good mom, or daughter or friend. You get the point, right? Ouch! Thankful for the truth, but it still hurt. I've been believing lies? It was time to deal with all that. Deal with the holds satan had in my life, deal with the destructive patterns that he was creating (and I was allowing) AND deal with those lies that I'd been blind to. I had to take those captive in JESUS name and speak truth to them. Amazing how the truth unraveled those lies. Bringing truth in place of lies....it's like a field of flowers in the spring after a nasty, gloomy winter! Life grows in those places when God's light is shown. Refreshing...
Take a deep breath, find those dark places, speak God's truth to those lies....LIVE!!!
I wonder if we all took the time to make this habit, what would our world be like? Would you be able to unwind and slow down your schedule if you weren't so busy trying to keep up with everyone (because that lie says you aren't worthy if you don't keep up)? Would you be able to see the world from a different perspective if you weren't bound by all those lies?
God is good...I'm thankful for that every single day. Even on those crazy, busy, exhausting days!
Enjoy your day :)
"Mom, can you sign this?"
"Mom, I need money for this"
"Mom can you wash this?"
"Mom....mom....mom....??" (this is when I'm hiding) :)
I wouldn't change a thing.
Am I alone in this? Yes, it's busy and often exhausting. I have the great privilege of raising some awesome kids and I get to be one to speak into their life. It's a challenge sometimes to speak NICE into their life, but that's a whole other story! But what an honor!
Do you see raising children like that? Is it an honor or is it a burden?
I sometimes look at these kids and wonder what God was thinking when he entrusted them with me. Am I worthy? Am I good enough? Do I give them enough? Am I teaching them good things? How am I damaging them? I have to ask that one...we are all human, right? We hurt each other, even when we don't mean to. If we're honest with ourselves, we would be asking that question about all the relationships in our lives! We can't get better at relationships without asking the tough, honest questions!!
I had someone tell me a few months ago that a lot of my self-judgement is the lies that I'm believing about myself. Believing that things will happen if I don't do ____. Believing I wasn't a good mom, or daughter or friend. You get the point, right? Ouch! Thankful for the truth, but it still hurt. I've been believing lies? It was time to deal with all that. Deal with the holds satan had in my life, deal with the destructive patterns that he was creating (and I was allowing) AND deal with those lies that I'd been blind to. I had to take those captive in JESUS name and speak truth to them. Amazing how the truth unraveled those lies. Bringing truth in place of lies....it's like a field of flowers in the spring after a nasty, gloomy winter! Life grows in those places when God's light is shown. Refreshing...
Take a deep breath, find those dark places, speak God's truth to those lies....LIVE!!!
I wonder if we all took the time to make this habit, what would our world be like? Would you be able to unwind and slow down your schedule if you weren't so busy trying to keep up with everyone (because that lie says you aren't worthy if you don't keep up)? Would you be able to see the world from a different perspective if you weren't bound by all those lies?
God is good...I'm thankful for that every single day. Even on those crazy, busy, exhausting days!
Enjoy your day :)
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
A little horn to toot!
A new year. Where'd the last one go?
Do you make New Year Resolutions?
Some people do, some people don't.
Do I? Sometimes :) But not this year.
Can I toot my husbands horn right now? Ok...thanks!
Here is the reason why I didn't do any resolutions this year. I have spent the last 3 1/2 months taking a class that required a LOT of my time. I figured today that I spent AT LEAST 160 hours studying for the test. Yes, that number is correct. Who in their right mind can swing that? Well, when you have a great, no, AMAZING husband it is actually possible! My husband knew how much this meant to me and he took care of just about everything over the last 2 months.
Want to know what I was studying? Thanks for asking :) I was studying to take the exam to receive my PHR certification. This is: Professional in Human Resources. Yes, all HR information. Now....this is a nation wide test, offered 2 times a year. It's big. It's HARD. It requires a LOT of studying. A little history...I've been working in HR for about 2 years, maybe a little longer. I have loved everything about it. I love being able to help the company and also the employees. My focus is mostly on the benefit side of things but I have a wonderful manager who is constantly teaching me the different areas of the job. I LOVE IT! So, I get into this class and realize the knowledge I have in HR is just the tip of the iceberg!!! There is so much to know, so much to learn! It was like opening up a door to another world. Exciting, scary and motivating! I can't believe how much I get to learn!
I think my DH cooked every meal for weeks on end...without EVER complaining. Ever. He amazes me. He is so strong. Strong mentally, physically and emotionally. He really is the total package! But really...he stepped in so I could work on my studying. He never thought twice about it. We are a team. We are a good team! His way of supporting me was silent & being a servant. He knew just what I needed. Now, it wasn't quite as easy for the kids. If they know I'm home, the don't leave me alone! But that's ok, I needed some breaks!
In the end, I took my test on January 30th. And....I PASSED! I honestly couldn't believe it. I just knew I was failing the test and was going to have to walk out of there so sad, after all that work, after all that time! Nope! God is good!! So much prayer was covering me that day! And I'm sure I needed it! So now I have three beautiful letters I get to put after my name: PHR. Aren't they pretty?
So now that this is over, do I consider starting any resolutions? I don't know. I haven't decided either way actually. If there is anything I want to do this year (other than the standard: lose weight), I want to be more purposeful with my friendships. I want to invest in those, build those and not miss out on living life with those I call my friend.
I'd love to hear if you have made any resolutions and if you're keeping up with them!!
Do you make New Year Resolutions?
Some people do, some people don't.
Do I? Sometimes :) But not this year.
Can I toot my husbands horn right now? Ok...thanks!
Here is the reason why I didn't do any resolutions this year. I have spent the last 3 1/2 months taking a class that required a LOT of my time. I figured today that I spent AT LEAST 160 hours studying for the test. Yes, that number is correct. Who in their right mind can swing that? Well, when you have a great, no, AMAZING husband it is actually possible! My husband knew how much this meant to me and he took care of just about everything over the last 2 months.
Want to know what I was studying? Thanks for asking :) I was studying to take the exam to receive my PHR certification. This is: Professional in Human Resources. Yes, all HR information. Now....this is a nation wide test, offered 2 times a year. It's big. It's HARD. It requires a LOT of studying. A little history...I've been working in HR for about 2 years, maybe a little longer. I have loved everything about it. I love being able to help the company and also the employees. My focus is mostly on the benefit side of things but I have a wonderful manager who is constantly teaching me the different areas of the job. I LOVE IT! So, I get into this class and realize the knowledge I have in HR is just the tip of the iceberg!!! There is so much to know, so much to learn! It was like opening up a door to another world. Exciting, scary and motivating! I can't believe how much I get to learn!
I think my DH cooked every meal for weeks on end...without EVER complaining. Ever. He amazes me. He is so strong. Strong mentally, physically and emotionally. He really is the total package! But really...he stepped in so I could work on my studying. He never thought twice about it. We are a team. We are a good team! His way of supporting me was silent & being a servant. He knew just what I needed. Now, it wasn't quite as easy for the kids. If they know I'm home, the don't leave me alone! But that's ok, I needed some breaks!
In the end, I took my test on January 30th. And....I PASSED! I honestly couldn't believe it. I just knew I was failing the test and was going to have to walk out of there so sad, after all that work, after all that time! Nope! God is good!! So much prayer was covering me that day! And I'm sure I needed it! So now I have three beautiful letters I get to put after my name: PHR. Aren't they pretty?
So now that this is over, do I consider starting any resolutions? I don't know. I haven't decided either way actually. If there is anything I want to do this year (other than the standard: lose weight), I want to be more purposeful with my friendships. I want to invest in those, build those and not miss out on living life with those I call my friend.
I'd love to hear if you have made any resolutions and if you're keeping up with them!!
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