Heartache

Saying "goodbye" to a loved one is one of the most difficult things in life.

I don't believe it ever gets easier. Only harder. Only more painful.

This week I will say goodbye to one of my cousins. One who was always there in times of great sorrow. One who I enjoyed every moment I spent with her. One who I was so thankful for and thankful that she was in my life.

Cancer. It fits into the "4 letter word" word list. I know it's not 4 letters, but it should be. It's an honorary member of the list. It takes over those we love. It hurts them. It makes them so sick. It kills them. There is NOTHING pretty about it, it is the most ugly and sneaky killer on the planet. I don't think anyone deserves to have it. Unwelcomed guest.

In just a few days, we will gather and honor the life of this beautiful woman. She was only 46. She leaves behind her a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. Their lives changed in an instant. I have no words I can say to them that will make their suffering any less. We all ache knowing she isn't here with us any longer. Thankfully she isn't suffering any longer, but she is SO loved and missed! Our lives will never be the same without her. I will miss her loving and warm smiles & hugs. I will miss the calm she brought to our family. She was one of the most thoughtful people I've ever known. I will hold dear the memories I have with her. Especially the ones when we were together at other times of great heartache. Her kind words and love made those times better. It brought us together in a way I don't have with any other cousins. She was so special.

Carla, your love of life, family, friends and animals....was beautiful. May you rest peacefully and know your family here miss you dearly but will look after each other. We love you so much!