Well, first I need to apologize. Probably only to myself...but I haven't written in such a long time. Not that I've forgotten, it's just that we've been so busy.
In July, my husband and I FINALLY got to go on our honeymoon! Yes, finally! Ok, it's not been that long...but a year and a half later, we snuck away and spent a WONDERFUL week in the hot sun and enjoying each others company. We went to Cabo. I have never been out of the country so this was a new experience for me. I'm already a nervous traveler (because I don't have much practice at it!) but going out of the country and away from our children....I was VERY nervous. All went fine. We survived, they survived and we had a WONDERFUL time!!! I came home so refreshed and relaxed. I think we both did! Ok, I'll admit, today I would like to be back there. Although they just had a major storm go through so I'm not sure NOW is the best time to be there! So that was a big part of summer.
We also took all the kids up to visit my family in Idaho. We had a great long weekend there. Hung with the kids, played outside, rode 4-wheelers, took lots of pictures (my favorite!), explored, and also visited Silverwood Amusement Park. Yes, it was FUN!! So fun I almost lost my lunch on one of the rides. Literally. To the kids amusement...mom couldn't go on anymore rides for a while :)
There was other stuff, but those were the highlights. It was a fun summer but went by too fast.
I titled this "Choices" because I wanted to share something about being a blended family (that's really what this is supposed to be, right??). This is a tough one to share because it really shows how competitive I am and how much I want control. Now I know full well that I am NOT the one in control. I daily give that up to God. Well, more like moment after moment I have to give it up. BUT....here is a little glimpse into blended family life. My kids have choices. I don't like it. I struggle with it often. They have their daily choices of course, the same as every kid out there. But they have even more. They have a choice, at a certain age, as to where they want to live. As a mom, that is a horrifying thought. For so many reasons, but just imagine for a minute.... I have worked for 15 years to provide a home that is safe, loving, caring and some place I can teach the kids to grow up into healthy and GOOD adults. I hadn't given this "choice" much thought until my ex moved 5 blocks from us. Until then, he had lived far enough away that the choice wasn't really an option for the kids if they wanted to stay in the same schools. So, ex moves into the area. I won't lie. That was a tough one. I had my safe little area where I knew I wouldn't bump into him at the store, post office, restaurants etc and now all that is now "un-safe". It's taken a while to get use to, but it's been ok. Now, in my competitive heart, I feel like I have compete to keep my kids here. He is "disneyland dad" and I'm the one who has rules and expectations for the kids (because I want them to grow up RESPONSIBLE!). So my house isn't always the most attractive. I also pay for EVERYTHING. So, I can't afford to keep up with the going here and doing this. I dislike this. Then I have to remember....I am a very different person than my ex is. I'm very ok with this. We work hard to provide them everything they need and want. So, where is the fine line? When do I throw my hands up and scream and kick because I CAN'T keep up? I don't. Remember that moment by moment I talked about....this is a HUGE part of that. I can't keep control of everything. THIS issue gets prayed about a lot. A LOT!! I pray that my kids are happy, healthy, well cared for and that they feel loved. They not only have their parents that love them immensely, but they have 2 step parents that love them also. They may not live the perfect life, but they do have it pretty good.
So, if you think about it, please pray for us. This is a daily battle in my heart. I don't want it to be, but it is. Pray for our children. Pray for protection of their hearts, lives and emotions. I can't imagine that life is easy for them (as 3 of the kids are teenagers!!) but I still want it to be GOOD! I love that they are happy going to church and always want to go to youth group. The church change a year ago has been a HUGE blessing to all the kids. God is good. All the time. All the time, HE is good.
That's my update for now. Over the last few months I've had many post worthy thoughts, but this one was fresh so that's what you get :) I need to get back to the kids. I pray you have a very blessed weekend. Whoever is out there reading this.....
